Prayers Please

First, I want to beg your forgiveness as I have not updated the blog in weeks. You’ve all probably been too busy to read it anyway, with all of the end of the year CRAZINESS swirling about. *Who in the world made May the new December!?* It was important that I take the time to write today because we need your prayers.

Last week, as I was digging in an old filing cabinet, I came across the original MRI report that found my cancer. It was dated May 23, 2002. I sat down right where I was, stunned that it has been almost 10 years ago.

Of course, in moments like these, you tend to get a little nostalgic. My ears were suddenly in tune with the voices of my miracle children, I glanced at my man and was overwhelmed with love and respect. I silently thanked my God for how far He had brought us and the blessings He had lavished upon us. Victorious, I felt victorious…

Fast forward to Saturday morning when I receive this email from our AWAA Family Coordinator:

…As stated previously, The Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA), has noted in their new guidelines that cancer/history of cancer will be an area with which their guidelines may become much more strict. We will most definitely be advocating for families already in the process if any of the new guidelines affect them. Additionally, we are advocating for current families to be grandfathered/there to be a grace period.

At this time, we don’t have further information. It may be weeks until these guidelines are in place, but I will update your family with information as I receive it.

Needless to say, we were very discouraged by this news. We have so many questions and no answers. I went throughout Saturday with my heart so heavy it hurt to carry it around. Tears came easy and the word “Robbed” kept bouncing around my head. Here I was, relishing the reality of being a survivor for TEN years, when we receive news that this “cancer” is threatening to rob us again. 

The losses and pain you think are long dead and buried, creep out in moments like these. You see, once upon a time, I was a little girl who wanted to sing. Read any paper written from 5-17 and you’ll read about a dream to entertain the world. A dream that never changed. When I was in my prime, having just performed my first showcase with Sony and Mercury records, cancer invaded and stole it all away. It’s a gaping hole that has never healed. And now, all these years later, it is has come to steal again.

I felt so defeated. :You took SO much from me, cancer!!! DO NOT steal THIS from us!!”

It was then, while I was knee deep in my pity party, I heard: “Your enemy comes to STEAL, kill and destroy. But I came to GIVE you life, and GIVE it to the fullest. I know the plan I have for you and little Krause and it includes a hope and a future. Your battle is NOT with cancer, not with flesh and blood. Your battle is with Satan himself. But I have already won, you CAN feel victorious, Britany, I have overcome the world.”

Wow. This is how awesome our God is, how personal. He so quickly identified who I was up against and assured me that with HIM this battle is already won. Have I continued to worry? YES. I wish I could tell you I’m Super Faith Girl…but I’m sooo not. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know one thing, I trust Him, regardless.

Our family would be so honored if you would pray for us. Specifically that the MOWCYA will allow us to proceed as I have been in remission for so long. Pray they will consider the fact we began the adoption process before the new guidelines were in place. Ryan and I don’t want to be where God is not leading, but we feel SO strongly that He led us straight to Ethiopia. And our hearts are now sold out, I really can’t explain the emotional attachment we already feel.

There are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia, surely…I MEAN SURELY, they will make an exception…