Praying You Home

What a whirlwind this past week has been! It feels like forever since we’ve talked!

My surgery went great. Thank you so much for your prayers. I still have not felt a decrease in pain but we are hoping time will be the answer. Our family has been blessed beyond words with prayer and FOOD from our friends. Let me tell you, my girls can COOK! What fun it’s been listening to my husband go on and on…and on about what amazing cooks my friends are. To look at Ryan you would never know that 1. He eats like a horse and 2. the way to his heart is through his belly! I most definitely will have to step it up in the kitchen after these gourmet meals!

The adoption front has been quiet until Yesterday. Sara with America World emailed and let us know that our paperwork and initial payment had been received. Today, Adela the director of social services with AWAA, Texas emailed our home study paperwork. Whoa.

I assured my panicking self that we would take it one step at a time. One document at a time. One doctor visit at a time. There is so much required. I mean, things like pictures of the outside of your house, floor plan sketch, background checks, TB tests, reference letters…lots of stuff. I wish we could pause life while we work on all of this. Seems like it will be impossible to do both;)

While I was in surgery, Ryan spent his time creating a list of all the adoption expenses. I’m surprised he didn’t need to join me in recovery. He put an asterisk by what has already been paid. I will add a timeline and expense page to our menu bar and as we complete these steps and make payments I’ll update the page. I want to add a new progress tracker and instead of $35,000 being the goal, have several small ones as we journey through the process. Seems more doable, right?

I’ve felt an urgency to begin planning/executing the fundraisers. Do you ever get that, “we’re burning daylight”, feeling? I was forced to my bed this weekend so I spent my time planning and planning some more. My brain was definitely in overdrive. To the point where I began to panic…again. Maybe I heard God all wrong. Um, can I change my mind, take it all back? I’m tired, it’s just too much. I want to go back to when life was simple. EASY. When I was comfortable.

It was in that moment that I had a visual picture of my Savior. He was in the garden of Gethsemane with His head in His hands. He was in torment, crying out to His Father. He knew what His future held but He didn’t walk away. He didn’t give up or say never mind. He sacrificed His very life, He gave it all…for me, for you.

Here’s the reality: there is a living, breathing child out there. A child without a mommy to kiss away their pain, to hold them when they’re scared. Maybe without any hope at all. A child God has purposed for our family. If I give up now, I give up on that child, my child. So, I wont. I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Thank you, Jesus for being right there, always so quick to remind me: It was You who rescued me. It was You who came for me. It was You who adopted me into Your family. It is You who gives me hope.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ~Jesus~

John 14:18